Why am I so stupid??

Morning peeps, why won’t I listen to my body. I know I should, I know I’ve been in two full on flares since the very end of May when I fell and smashed my knees, yet this morning, knowing full well I was already in a flare from painting I pushed myself so I could bake with Nina. We had a lot of fun and really enjoyed it so it was totally worth the way I feel right now, right??!

 

Yes it was. I refuse to miss out on life’s little adventures while I have the opportunity. I will just deal with feeling like I do for the rest of the day happy in the knowledge that Nina just enjoyed her slice of cake that we made, that I showed her how to fill and decorate a cake, that we made scones together & I taught her some tips that she will use in future. If we all just sat on the sofa and let life pass us by we’d all die of boredom before we died of RD, I’m sure of that. So now I will lie here and do e-mail and then watch some tv with Nina happy in the knowledge that we had the most fun of mornings together and tomorrow I will rest. 

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We went shopping & the expected flare.

On Thursday hubby & I went shopping to find some bedside lamps and a new light shade. We went to town first & had some lunch, had a look in a couple of home shops but didn’t find what we wanted so drove up to Dunelm Mill for a wander round. I’d seen some lamps online there while we ate lunch so we picked those up plus a shade. We walked round the end just browsing and spotted lamps to exactly match the shade we’d picked up & they were on 50% off so grabbed the last two. Two lamps for a tenner, bargain, how lucky was that! We picked up some other little bits and had a good wander round before leaving and meeting up with young son. We had a look in the carpet shop as we still need to get the kitchen flooring & then drove across to Sainsburys for a few bits for dinner and a much deserved coffee. Everything was put in place when we got home & I snapped some pictures for this blog, then I collapsed on the sofa!

Yesterday (Friday), the inevitable flare hit. Too much painting & shopping for my body so this weekend I will rest as much as I can and next week I will have to be sensible in what I choose to do. This always happens if I overdo & Wednesday when I painted I knew I was pushing much too hard but my room looks great & I’m so chuffed I managed to do some of it myself. Thanks again to my amazing Daddy for all his help. I forget he’s 78 but he’s still fitter than me!! Anyway here are some photos of the room & all we have to buy now are new curtains and pole and new bedding. Oh & the rug was made by my parents when I was born, all hand weaved & 100% wool, it’s super cosy to put my feet on in the mornings. In the meantime you’ll find me chilling on the sofa.

 

 

 

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The hard work is done.

We did it! I got the paint, went for a very pale blossom off white for the walls and white for the paintwork and Dad painted the walls for me. I went in hard yesterday and got the paintwork done, all of it in one day which is why today I can’t move, I really need to learn to step away & do things in small chunks,  you’d think after 24 years I’d realise that but it’s in my nature not to leave things half done. So yesterday late afternoon I crashed on the sofa in pjs with pain meds and musle relaxants & didn’t move. Hubby helped sort out the stuff that needed to be put away and put back this morning & everything has been cleaned and tidied.

I now need to save up for some new curtains, a pole (curtain not dance), matching bedside lamps and bedding. When that is all in place I’ll take the finished photos. One thing I do already have is the 100% wool, hand woven by my parents rug which will go down today when the back of the door is dry. I’ll add those to this post when I have it all finished with the soft furnishings. I’m so glad to see the back of the hideous and very old wallpaper, so kudos to Daddy who did most of the work.

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Finally after 20 years……

I’m finally getting my bedroom decorated!!! You know how it is, you buy a house and have a million ideas for exactly how you’ll decorate each room and then life takes over and everything gets done when you can afford it, haha!! But finally I feel like we’re getting somewhere with our home. The kitchen and bathroom were totally refitted over the last 7 years due to being left money, sadly the only way we could afford to get it done was to lose loved ones. But in saying that each time I go into those rooms I think of those loved ones and say a silent thank you.

Then a few months back my Daddy, darling Daddy, asked me  which room I’d like to get decorated next. Now I should tell  you that when I first left school I worked with my Dad, who was then self employed as a gardener/handyman/decorator. Basically my Dad can turn his hand to anything, very handy over the years I have to say! He taught me all the ins and outs of decorating plus a zillion other things that we tackled in our daily work, and for years I did all of our decorating in our first home but then the RA decided that ‘no it’s too much for  your joints, pack it in’, so now I’m only able to do bits and bobs and can no longer cope with any of the prep work and we all know that’s 80% of a job well done!

Anyway I picked the hallway and landing as that was the job most in need and the biggest and we tackled it together, though my ‘help’ was minimal compared to what Dad did. It looks gorgeous and I’m thrilled with how it looks, see my last post for details. This time Dad said to me that he really wanted to get my bedroom done for me. It still had the original old fashioned and by now very dingy wallpaper up, bits were peeling here and there and it just looked really quite miserable in there. I deserved a nice fresh and cosy bedroom he told me.

Anyway last week Dad popped over, scraper in hand and said he was just going up to do a ‘tester patch’ to see how easily the paper came off! An while later he came down and told me he’d finished one whole wall and it was coming off lovely and easily. He went home for lunch saying he’d probably not be back today so me in my ‘stupid’ wisdom decided I’d go up and ‘just peel off a little bit’, Dad had left his scraper behind and I’ve always found that job so cathartic!! Just as I’d started Dad text to say he was coming back, so I asked him to bring another scraper and I’d help him out a bit. He told me I was to take it easy and not overdo but you know how it goes, you do just a little and then a bit more and before you know it between you it’s almost done and you may as well finish.

Dad left mine just before 5, I put on my pjs and crashed, literally, on the sofa. More painkillers and muscle relaxants were a blessing as I really couldn’t move at all and I’ve spent the last 4 days with agonizing shoulder pain but it was worth it, I helped and I enjoyed it at the time. Dad has since done the ceiling & a base coat of leftover paint to give us a good surface to work on and on Sunday I plan to buy my wall colour. My planned colour scheme is a warm soft cream and deep red soft furnishings.

Here is a photo of the progress so far and when it’s done I’ll come back here and post the finished room. Here’s my Daddy busy stripping the walls, see what I mean about the paper!!

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What a plank!!

Today I am doing very little!! I have Rheumatoid disease so I am not super active anyway most days, as my mobility is rubbish but yesterday like an idiot I decided to leave the safety of my sofa and go sit on the lounger in the garden, in the shade and read my Kindle. It was a gorgeous day and I fancied a read outside. I have 4 concrete steps up to my garden & a slab of concrete at the top before you get to the lawn and somehow, I have no idea how, I tripped over right at the top and bamn, I went down really, really hard on both knees, stuck out my left hand to save my face/head smacking the concrete and that was that. My Kindle and phone, thank goodness landed on the grass and were perfectly fine, the full glass I was carrying I dropped on the grass too,  I don’t know how it didn’t land on the path and smash but I was lucky there. Man it really hurt, I have jarred pretty much every joint in my body, some of which were hurting already but I seem to have taken the brunt of the jarring down my left side so my shoulder is screaming at me, my knees are killing and my hips and a few other bits and bobs. No visible bruising on my knees which surprised me but today I plan to sit on my sofa, do some online stuff, mail etc and then read, lots!!!
This was me after I had sat on the floor and assessed the damage and made it to the chair.

Idiot

On the plus side this morning I got my post and discovered that I’d won a bottle of Organic Body Oil, which is something I had been wanting to try for a while, so epic win!!

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Another room complete!

Well I did it, I managed to help Dad with the hall and landing by doing some of the paintwork, mostly sitting work which pleased my hips but I am of course now paying for it, everywhere. But it was so worth it to be able to help Dad and to be able to say that I did some of it. Dad’s been over again today to put my new hooks up for the coats so it is now finished and I can share the photos. I am taking it nice and easy this week so my body can recover, but it was so worth it to see it all completed.

 

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I miss me……

I don’t want to be a moaner or bring anyone down but I miss me, the old me I mean, the healthy one. The decorator, the factory worker, the dinner lady.

I was always healthy, until I wasn’t. Always busy scurrying here and there, no slow & steady pace for me, I walked fast, I was even a pretty good runner at school! When I left school I worked with my Dad, a dream job indeed. Dad was a decorator/handyman/gardener/anything you wanted doing really. When he took me on he thought “That’ll be nice, Gillian can do the weeding and plant flowers etc.”No not me, I wanted in on the big stuff, furniture moving, decorating, turfing, erecting fences and sheds, slapping on bitumen paint and riding the mower! Whatever Dad had to teach me I learned. We worked full days in all weathers & I loved it, getting mucky with mud and paint. It stood me in good stead when I got my own home, I did all the prep and decorating, putting up shelves and doing the garden.

Then I worked several other jobs, shop work (clothes and shoes), and then when I got married I did factory work, I ended up in charge of the printing machines, and then in my second factory I was a bench drill operator. Lifting heavy steel jigs and once again getting messy with the coolants, I loved it all.

Then I left work to have Lorraine, she’s 24 now (almost 25) & I had a whale of a time being a Mum. I was always busy & loved every minute of watching my baby grow. When I fell pregnant with my son Grant at the age of 23 I was doubly thrilled, a sibling for Lollie what could be more precious.

Then ‘it’ happened. My hands and wrists began to swell, like really swell like sausages. I had so much pain & no reason as to why so off I went to the Dr. He was a lovely man, not a permanent at our practice but a lovely man. I can’t remember his name but I can still see his face as he looked at my hands and said these exact words to me. “Don’t panic Mrs Pidler, but I think we may be looking at Rheumatoid here.” I don’t ever remember being scared when he said that, I didn’t even really know what it meant, I was all like “Ok so now what?” He started me on Voltarol to get the swelling under control and referred me to the rheumatology hospital up in Bath. I do remember my early visits up there pretty clearly, lots of blood tests including the day it took one lady 6 sticks to get less than a ml of blood from my uncooperative vein. She gave up after that! I say that but that one vein has done me proud over the last 24 years of monthly blood tests, maybe it was more the lady! I remember bringing home leaflets to read, seeing lots of rheumatologists, never the same one twice I believe. They stuck me on Sulphasalazine for 6 months which did nothing but make my hair come out. Then they decided to try me on Methotrexate (a low dose chemo med). I still take that med every week and I still hate it. I now do jabs instead of the handful of tiny pills that I would sit and look at, daring them to make me feel sick this time, putting off the moment that I had to swallow them. I now also take a bunch of other stuff that has been added into the mix over the years, some of them to negate side effects of the others, some for fatigue, some for dry eyes. They all have huge lists of possible side effects but I have to say in all honesty that I’ve been pretty lucky so far, most drugs they chuck at me my body can tolerate just fine. I know many people who are not so lucky.

My rheumy says I’m pretty well controlled, my labs look great on paper & he’s pretty happy with how I self manage, he trusts me to deal with my meds and pain relief etc as does my GP. But, I still wake up every day in pain and go to bed the same way with differing measures of pain in between, not to mention the fatigue. That’s RD, that’s how it goes, some days one joint may hurt the next every joint is flaring, it’s a crazy and difficult disease to understand because every single day is different. I say at least we get variety, right?! What he didn’t know about me before today’s apt is that I’m not who I used to be, I’m not the me that could do anything I wanted. I told him today how physical I used to be, the things I loved doing and how this last week instead of being the decorator I’ve watched my Dad, my darling Dad who would do anything for me, decorate my hall & landing for me. I’ve not yet lifted a paintbrush.

Tomorrow I plan to finish the woodwork while Dad’s busy elsewhere. I will get mucky & sit on the floor with my brushes and rag & I will finish that topcoat even if it means the next 3 days or so on the couch. And I will enjoy every minute of it even if it’s just a small glimpse of the old me:)

 

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